Pakistani Wedding Journey – Nikkah

 

Stage 1. Journey Through A Pakistani Girl’s Wedding – “The Attention Tention”

Stage 2. Journey Through A Pakistani Girl’s Wedding – The Rasam

Before I begin. What exactly is Nikkah?

Nikkah is the legal contract in Islam that declares two people as Husband and Wife. It is followed by RUKHSATI aka FAREWELL (the girl leaves her house for the groom’s house). Some people have their Nikkah on the same day as Farewell. Some have their Nikkah years before (because may be the Groom is abroad and needs documents for visa or perhaps because it’s far more virtuous than an engagement).

So I have not had my Rukhsati yet. I only had my Nikkah done, legally a wife now.

My Journey Of Nikkah

Brides, Pakistani Brides, take a lot of time and thoughts planning what they would be wearing and the jewelry and the shoes and where they would be ready from and the MEHENDI (henna). The day of Nikkah is decided at least a month back (AT LEAST) so that everything can be prepared.

But my Nikkah. Well it was a little bit different. IT WAS WAY DIFFERENT.

My Nikkah was decided within 4 days. SERIOUSLY, what the hell. My Dad was flying to Pakistan and he called and said, well I am coming and I want to have this Nikkah. I had 4 days in my hand in which I had to prepare everything.

4 days to get my dress stitched, mehendi (Henna) on hands and feet, jewelry, shoes, facial, hall, food, invites, photographer and PARLOR. Alhamdulillah (Praises to Allah), even though we were short on time, everything was arranged.

Although, they say that the bride must get her beauty sleep and ample rest because she has a big day ahead but well, this bride, she ain’t getting no sleep or rest. As the Nikkah day approached, everything seemed to go out of hands. My house will look like there had been a tsunami in it. Everyone was screaming on top of their voices because nobody could find anything.

Literally, like there would be a wall and yet you wouldn’t be able to see it.

My dress came in my hand a day before Nikkah and to my horror, there was a fault in it and the tailor would be available next day at 3 and my parlor booking was at 5. Be late and you get charged for extra hours. YOU CAN IMAGINE MY HORROR. I didn’t sleep all night worrying what if the tailor can’t fix it. What will I wear then?

29th Of May – The Day Of Nikkah.

I got up earlier than usual. Why? Because I can’t keep calm. I already am worried for the big day, I hate attentions and today all eyes will be on me. I can’t handle that. I am sweating more than I usually do.

Besides, I had to do all the dishes, clean the house, make sure I had all my stuff for parlor and what not. A PAKISTANI BRIDE IS A SUPER NINJA on her wedding day 🙂

At 3 I left the house for the tailor who is my HERO. He fixed the dress in 15 minutes and then I went to a cousin’s house who would drop me to the Parlor. I gobbled some lunch forced by my Aunt. Simply shoved the food down my throat and at 4:30, I left for the parlor.

It was a little crazy inside the Parlor. There was this one makeup artist, who was doing a Rukhsati Bride and when she saw me, she insisted that she do mine. So for two hours I was simply on their comfy seat texting my soon-to-be-hubby about how worried and tensed I am.

Anyway, by 8:30 I was ready and my sister and brother in law came to pick me up and by 9 we were in the hall.

NOW WE WAIT…

As the hall fills with guest, I get visitors in my Bridal room. I am already nervous and I am smiling more than I should to all my aunties and cousins because I AM NERVOUS ( okay I already said that.)

They all come inside, staring at me, smiling affectionately, giving me blessings and telling me how beautiful I looked. I smile back at all of them. My jaws hurt.

Soon the hall is filled and at 9:30 the Baraat (Groom and his side of relatives) arrives. Now it is my assumption, since I was in the Bride room, that there were some BHANGRA (Dance) at the main gate and then the Groom was directly taken to the stage.

How I wished I could see that moment with my own eyes.

The Nikkah

The Qaazi (man who performs the wedding ceremony) arrives a bit late. He got stuck in the traffic. By that time my back was PAINING because I had been up and running since morning.

Anyway, The Qaazi, witnesses, my father and my close relatives come into the Bridal room, with the papers of Nikkah. My dad shows me 4 places to sign on and with trembling nervous hands, I sign them.

Then one of the witness asks me a customary question, “Do you take Ahmed son of XYZ to be your Husband.” Almost choked with nervousness and intensity of that moment, I say, “Yes I DO.”

The papers were then taken to the Groom, where he signed the 4 places next to mine and then he said, “I take Aisha in my Nikkah.”

Let the games begin…

My family came into the room to congratulate me, at which time I was frozen and numb. I was happy but at one corner of my heart I was like WHAT JUST HAPPENED.

My brother in law kissed my forehead and he gestured my sister to take me to the stage where my HUSBAND waits.

2 of my cousin sisters and my sister, help me get up (you would know when your dress weighs a ton). And with steady baby steps I start walking out of the room. As I walk out, I see PEOPLE…OMG there are soooooo many people. Where did they all come from. Do I even know all of them…

I remember grabbing my sister’s hand as tight as I possibly could. I am sure she must have screamed inside 🙂 Sorry sis. And as I walked towards the stage, there he was, blushing, perhaps more than I was and then I sat next to him.

He greeted me and I replied and from there on wards, it was a situation of PLAY ALONG.

Most of the time my head was bowed to avoid eye contact with as many people as possible BUT MY COUSINS…THEY ARE ALL TOTALLLLLL CRAZY... How would they leave the tiniest bit of TEASING AND TORTURING.

It was fun. One by one, close family members came on the stage, congratulated us and pictures were taken. Then my Mom in law and Dad in law came and gave me blessings, kisses and gifts.

Man I got so manyyyyyy gifts 🙂

Dinner was served while we were in our photoshoot soon we were the only ones who were left. A separate table was places for us. He held my hand as firmly as he could I at that moment, I realized, well, this was all worth it.

We ate in the same place and he even gave me a bite 🙂

Finally the entire event came to an end. Guests started leaving. He took my hand and walked me to my car, letting me know that this is just a temporary bye and he will soon come to take me home, forever.

And so on 29th of May, 2015, I went out of my home a single woman and came back home a wife to someone who has never failed to love, protect and care for me.

When is my Rukhsati if you must know? 20th Dec,2015  inshaAllah 🙂