Posts Tagged With: funny

What It’s Like To Be Pregnant & Pakistani (It’s CRAZY)


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Hello folks…

So I have been meaning to do this blog from a very long time but got caught up with other stuff.

Be prepared as I now take you on a journey on what it’s like to be pregnant and Pakistani. Honestly speaking, I think the dilemma lies with all the Asian groups and not just Pakistani….If you can relate to this, we will find out soon 🙂

1. The “Is there a good news” questions.

You get married today, and 5 days later you will start hearing questions from different aunties if there is a good news. Like what the serious ef is that all about?

My first encounter with this situation was just 20 days after marriage, when I went to my neighbor’s house, and her sister in law(who I hardly knew because I had just moved in at my husband’s house) asked me “is there something?” and as naive as I was, I just couldn’t understand what the hell she was asking me. What something is she asking for. I made her repeat 3 times thinking I was missing out any words or something.

After 3 attempts of asking me the same “is there something”, my mother in law replied not yet, everyone will know when there is. Even though I was 2 weeks pregnant by then.

And at that moment, it was a revelation to me. The clouds of singleness had moved away and above me was a sky saying BRACE YOURSELF…PREGNANCY QUESTIONS ARE COMING.

After that incident, these questions kept coming from various aunties wherever I went.

Apparently, Pakistani aunties think you are an ATM machine.

2. Everyone should know…Like literally EVERYONE.

For the first 3 months, the news stays within the 2 families. But the moment those 3 months’ risky time passes away, the news is available for public. Literally public.

First the news goes to close friends and relatives then the friends and relatives will tell their friends and relatives. And the news keeps moving forward. Now this may seem pretty normal because friends and relatives are supposed to know the big news but this doesn’t end with friends and relatives.

You could be walking on a sidewalk with any of your relative and they will tell a stranger to may be walk a little away because this walking lady is now “DELICATE.” This is the term they use. YUPPPPP you heard me right.

You are in a taxi and the driver will be told to drive a little more carefully because Continue reading

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Categories: Bits Of My Life, Hearty Giggles | Tags: , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

False Advertising – Do Not Be Fooled


funny-internet-lie

1. Johnson Baby Shampoo – No More Tears

So I was sad a few days back and I was crying a lot. Like tons of tears and that’s when I remembered this very famous brand. And I was like, oh why didn’t I think of that before.

I took one bottle and straight off went to the shower. I was still crying at that time. I took some shampoo and poured it on my head. I massaged the shampoo on my hair and waited 5 minutes for it to start working. But you know what. I was still crying. What the hell did they mean by NO MORE TEARS. Well hello, I am still crying.

I thought, may be my pain is too much so I emptied the entire bottle on my head, I waited 5 minutes, 10 minutes, 15 minutes but my tears didn’t stop.

CLEARLY this is false advertising. Anyway, I did end up with very soft, smooth and beautiful hair afterwards but that’s not the point.

2. AT & T – Reach Out & Touch Someone

I was going to work the other day and I read this slogan on a billboard and I am like, oh that’s a nice slogan and I must do it. I reached out and I touched someone. I got a very harsh stare from that someone.

I thought I must be doing it wrong you know. This time, with more spirit, more optimism and with more love, I reached out and touched someone again.

Well, let me tell you AT & T, I did this a couple of times on my way to work and apparently reaching out and touching someone does not give you good responses. I do not know why you would give us such strange advises. Continue reading

Categories: Hearty Giggles | Tags: , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Letter From Earphone To Humans


tang

Dear Humans.

My name is Eerefone. Sometimes I am called earpiece, hands free or even headphone. First of all, let me tell you that I am not headphone at all. Headphone is actually my big brother. He is strong, big, masculine and has a built. I don’t understand how someone could confuse my smart, slim and pretty body for a masculine one? Stop calling me by my brother’s name people. That’s just insulting to my figure. That’s racist.

Having cleared that, I would appreciate if you would CLEAR your ears before effing putting me in. It’s a mountain of ear poop in here. It’s not a treasure to keep okay. Have you not heard of my friend, Eerebud? God bless her poor soul but she does excellent work and she is the reason I can make it everyday.

Do you have any idea how I feel when you just shove me inside your disgusting ears? Oh the torture. And to make things worse you just keep me in there for hours and hours.

EVEN WHEN YOUR MUSIC STOPS.

How long does it take for you to realize that the song you were listening to has stopped an hour back?

I still forgive such people but the ones that make me angry the most are the people who plug me in and forget to put on a song. SERIOUSLY? And then I am like just hanging in your ears doing NOTHING but making you  look like you are listening to something.

YOU PEOPLE DISGUST ME. Continue reading

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Junk Thoughts For Your Mind


Junk Food - Desserts

Here are some quotes, statements or thoughts that have been accumulated in my mind for a few days. So I thought why not share the some junk thoughts with you because let’s face it, we all love junk food over healthy food 🙂

1. “I don’t believe in suicide… I believe in murder… Murder of the reason that is making me think about suicide.”

2. “Never bath naked… You never know when you make a major discovery and have to run out screaming EUREKA EUREKA.”

3. “When your parents don’t give you permission for a certain thing, Continue reading

Categories: Hearty Giggles | Tags: , , , , , , | 1 Comment

How (NOT) To Clean Your Laptop


RIP - In Loving Memory Of Martyred Laptop

Hello folks…

Since you ate a lot of burgers and pizza over your laptop and used the keyboard without bothering to wash your hands, you must have, by now, successfully created those gooey stain spots on your keys. Congratulations on discovering it.

It’s time we get them off.

Don’t worry, we know how talented and capable you are. You will get them back within a few days if you continue your routine.

This blog comes to you from a very expert person (If you associate the title with the person writing this blog – a girl)…. Continue reading

Categories: Hearty Giggles | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment