So I have been meaning to do this blog from a very long time but got caught up with other stuff.
Be prepared as I now take you on a journey on what it’s like to be pregnant and Pakistani. Honestly speaking, I think the dilemma lies with all the Asian groups and not just Pakistani….If you can relate to this, we will find out soon 🙂
1. The “Is there a good news” questions.
You get married today, and 5 days later you will start hearing questions from different aunties if there is a good news. Like what the serious ef is that all about?
My first encounter with this situation was just 20 days after marriage, when I went to my neighbor’s house, and her sister in law(who I hardly knew because I had just moved in at my husband’s house) asked me “is there something?” and as naive as I was, I just couldn’t understand what the hell she was asking me. What something is she asking for. I made her repeat 3 times thinking I was missing out any words or something.
After 3 attempts of asking me the same “is there something”, my mother in law replied not yet, everyone will know when there is. Even though I was 2 weeks pregnant by then.
And at that moment, it was a revelation to me. The clouds of singleness had moved away and above me was a sky saying BRACE YOURSELF…PREGNANCY QUESTIONS ARE COMING.
After that incident, these questions kept coming from various aunties wherever I went.
Apparently, Pakistani aunties think you are an ATM machine.
2. Everyone should know…Like literally EVERYONE.
For the first 3 months, the news stays within the 2 families. But the moment those 3 months’ risky time passes away, the news is available for public. Literally public.
First the news goes to close friends and relatives then the friends and relatives will tell their friends and relatives. And the news keeps moving forward. Now this may seem pretty normal because friends and relatives are supposed to know the big news but this doesn’t end with friends and relatives.
You could be walking on a sidewalk with any of your relative and they will tell a stranger to may be walk a little away because this walking lady is now “DELICATE.” This is the term they use. YUPPPPP you heard me right.
You are in a taxi and the driver will be told to drive a little more carefully because there is a delicate lady in the car.
Kids will be told to not play with you, specially the ones who love running and jumping because their aunt is not well.
3. The term delicate is taken to a while new level.
You know how in western countries the moment you are pregnant, you enter into programs that tell you which exercises are good and how squatting is good for you and how you need to run and jog and cycle as long as you are healthy.
Well, it’s the total opposite here. And for the first 3 months of your pregnancy, it’s like you are a ticking bomb. Any slight movement, will tick the bomb off.
So you are asked to walk less, jump less, travel less, work less. You are not supposed to sit down, or sit down and work. You can’t lift dinner dishes because they are heavy. You can’t lift babies because they are heavy. You should get up slowly from bed. You should sit down very slowly. Did you know that you can’t even use stairs. YESSS.
I couldn’t go anywhere, where they were far too many stairs for me. Like even the malls because that would mean going up n down the stairs. LALALALA NOOOOOOO…
Apparently stairs are evil….they are bad for the baby. Bad bad bad.
4. Eat for the two.
This is a very common concept, I guess, not just in Pakistan. When I got my news, I started hearing this at every breakfast, lunch and dinner from everyone.
I had people starting to fill my plate with more food the moment they saw that I had taken a less amount (lesser than their expectation, the amount I ALWAYS EAT. Once I was done with everything on my plate, people would refill it.
U eat one plate? NO NO eat two plates. You eat for two.
I just wanted to scream out loud saying THE OTHER PERSON IS NOT EVEN THE SIZE OF A RICE AT THIS MOMENT AND YOU WANT ME TO EAT ONE EXTRA PLATE OF RICE FOR HIM?
5. ADVISES,ADVISES & ADVISES.
Wherever you go, everyone who knows about it will give you a piece of advice. You stay at home and you will get calls from everyone who heard the news and they will give you advice. You are constantly getting advises so much that at one point you start hating it.
IF I NEED ADVISE, I WILL ASK YOU.
The most frustrating thing about these advises is that one person’s advice contradicts the advice of the other. Like one aunt told me to eat lots and lots of apples and then the next day another aunt told me not to eat apples as they will make the baby dark in color (coz of iron).
One aunt told me to drink cold milk while other told to drink hot milk.
So there is my frustration.
6. Everyone is suddenly more expert than you are.
Remember some articles on the internet say that it’s your body and you know better.
Aaaahhhh. Music to my ears.
When you are expecting, suddenly everyone around you becomes more expert in pregnancy than you are. Now you may think I am exaggerating, but I am not. I would say yes to all the mothers that they are more expert/ experienced than me but I am talking about men, unmarried women and EVEN TEENAGE BOYS AND GIRLS.
YES TEENAGE BOYS AND GIRLS.
All of a sudden I am getting lectures and advises and suggestions and instructions and warnings from boys n girls wayyyyyy younger than me. When I was their age, I didn’t even know what this was all about.
I would be told to eat more. Sometimes they would even tell me not to eat something because it might harm the baby. Sometimes they would tell me to eat more of something because my baby needs it. I was told not to sit in certain position because it might be bad for me.
Like HELLOOOO… Is there a baby in your tummy? Nope? I thought so…This may be my first baby, but I definitely have the mother instincts. I also would like to inform you I have been around with babies more than you have been with your iPhone. So hush now…Go play your subway surfer.
7. No more jeans for you. No tight clothes right away.
When I was just in my third month, I started getting stares from aunts for wearing jeans. I know you are not supposed to wear tight clothes, I am not that stupid but I barely had a stomach by then and I barely had put on any weight. In fact, I had lost a few kg so my jeans was perfectly comfortable to me.
But, every time I wore jeans, I was told I shouldn’t wear jeans. This time, I was determined to do what my body felt right. I wore whatever the hell I wanted to until my body signaled and immediately I transitioned into maternity clothes.