I see what you are doing here. You are self praising. That’s okay. I know yourself is the only one who can possibly praise you. Just for your sake, I hope you don’t lie to yourself.
There are 2 facts about you which I should let you know.
1. You are a self praiser.
2. You lie to yourself.
Why did the chicken cross the road? “The chicken saw you coming and said, Oh boy here comes an a**hole life sucking donkey…I better cross the road before he catches me.” I should have crossed the road too.
The ones with pretty face may not have a pretty heart and the ones with pretty heart may not have a pretty face. But there are exceptions. Like you have none and I have both.
Woah woah woah. Did you just see what you just tried to do? You tried to talk to me. Keep doing and you will get somewhere. Somewhere far away from me. Far far far away.
I only make friends who are smart, sensible, humorous and open minded. I don’t want to make an exception for you and offend my friends.
If sarcasm was a human, I would marry him. It would be so lovely to have little sarcastic children running around the house.
Lucky for you, I can tolerate humor. Because that explains why I am tolerating you.
What do you call those people who are lazy, stupid, boring and pathetic? Oh sorry, You wouldn’t know your cast, would you?
Ask me again and my answer will be the same as before…Only harsher and probably with a lot of BEEP words.
I lost my slippers. I think Russia’s deadly mafia group is behind this. Who do I contact?
I love talking to you. It’s how I learn to tolerate, be patient and be nice to people who get on my nerves.
There are good times and then there are those times when I meet you and realize, where the heck are my good times.
How lucky am I? No seriously how lucky am I?
You had a spider on your shoulder. Don’t worry, it’s gone now……..Inside your shirt……through your collar.
You don’t have to act like a butthead just because you have one.
They say you should never lose hope. But then again, they haven’t met you.