3 months on liquid diet which mainly for me is partially mashed rice with a little of anything mashable and lots n loads of yogurt to help me shove down the food through my throat. 3 months without chewing absolutely anything. Soups, juices and mashed rice.
It gets so annoying at times that in utter desperation to chew something, I have literally chewed my tongue. For those who have tried this, you know the pleasure. For those who haven’t, it’s like chewing on a rubber meat that doesn’t have any taste and doesn’t dissolve.
Haven’t tried it?
Let me show you how it works.
Just put your tongue between your side teeth and gently chew on it. Enjoy while you are in class, or you are fasting, or just want to put away the feeling of hunger.
Anyway, At this point, I have absolutely, completely and eternally LOST MY APPETITE. The first few weeks of this torture had me cravings for pizza, burger, bbq and subway. Another couple of weeks and I was just eating to survive but now, I hate the sight of food. The amount of food I used to eat has gradually gone down to the fact that I now eat the same amount of food that a 3 year old kid would eat, probably even less.
Extreme weakness and of course alarming loss of weight and visible health decline. I have started feeling dizzy & lazy (lazier, I guess from my past history of laziness lol). I can’t write anything (which is the reason I have about 20 drafts on scrapyard that I started writing but couldn’t complete). I can barely do any house chores and my official work is suffering.
To make things worse?
Since past few days I am having short blackouts the moment I try to get up from bed or chair or if I move my head suddenly.
People look at my sunken face that looks like a layer of skin over a skull and then have the urge to let me know how weak I look ( like I don’t look at myself in the mirror everyday) and then if that much is not enough, they will start a lecture over how I should eat well whether or not I like it.
IT GETS ANNOYING. I know I have to eat but it’s easier for you to say when you are sitting right in front of me chewing down a Smoked Turkey Subway with honey mustard and lots of jalapeno.