Welcome to yet another blog on life as an Asian. Previously I did a blog on Criminal Life Of A Brown Girl…Because Every Brown Girl Commits A Crime. If you haven’t read it yet, go ahead and read it. I am sure you will enjoy it if you are one of the Criminals. Haha.
So today I will be listing a few Things I Don’t Understand (TIDU) About Asian Parents.
TIDU Case # 1 : The Importance Of A Gift Paper
“Don’t tear the gift paper. Open it up from the tapes. We can use it when we want to gift someone.”
I don’t understand how you can buy an expensive gift for someone but a cheap gift paper looks so much more not affordable that you have to reuse the gift paper to save money.
TIDU Case # 2 : When You Get A Gift That's Useful
“Mom, look we got a professional knife set as a gift from aunt Bertha just when all our knives were going blunt.”
“Keep it in the cupboard. It is very expensive and beside all our blunt knives need is a little sharpening. Let me do it for you.”
*10 Years Laters*
“Mom, Can I take that knife from the set we got as gift. All our knifes are really blunt now.”
“Are you that stupid? You want to use those expensive knives. Huh. Gimme those blunt knives and i’l show you how to use them. You come in the kitchen one day of the year and whine about blunt knives while I use them everyday without complains. Stupid”
I don’t understand what is the use of keeping useful things locked up in the cupboard even when you need them?
TIDU # 3 : The Sacred Drawing Room
“Get out of the drawing room. You are going to spoil it and I don’t want our guests to think I am clumsy or that I got clumsy kids even though I know I got them.”
I don’t understand why we cannot use the drawing room? It is part of our house yet it shall remain closed for until some xyz guests come once in a year.
TIDU 4 : Relaxing On The Sofa Is A Sin
“Don’t you have any manners? You want me to teach you the etiquette of sitting on a sofa? Put down your legs when you sit on the sofa.”
I don’t understand why crouching on the sofa with your legs on it is unacceptable. It is one the most relaxing place and position while I am reading a book or text chatting.
TIDU # 5 : Missed Call Is The New Call
“Give your aunt a missed call so that she remembers to buy the blueberry sauce I asked her to get for me.”
“Give your aunt another missed call so she knows she has to email me some of the party pictures.”
I don’t understand this at all. How can one missed call probably explain the other one what it means :S :S :S. Why can’t you just call and tell them like normal people?
TIDU 6 : Google Knows Everything Every Time.
“Aishaaaaaaaaa. I was just watching this LIVE SHOW and I missed the home remedy for dandruff. Go to Google right now and download the video.”
I don’t understand why is it so difficult to explain to them that a Live Show is just being aired. For google/youtube to have that video, someone will probably have to upload it first.
TIDU 7 : Google Is A Man
“Aishaaaaaaaa Can you ask Google why my right shoulder is heavy.”
“Google said that baking soda would help in this mixture.”
“You know I asked Google yesterday and it gave me a lot of insight.”
I don’t understand how someone can possibly refer to Google as if they are referring to a human.
*5 Years Later*
“Mom which one do you think would look good for my friend’s party? This red dress or the blue one?”
“Go ask google.”
“Mom I have this interview at Brookway Broad. Can you explain me the address.”
“Ppppttttt…. Just go and ask Google. It will explain you with the map.”
😀 😀 😀