English Is A Funny Irrational Crazy Language…

English Is A Funny Language

Its funny how we are taught one thing and then a totally contradicting thing to it and we are made to believe that both of them are right. Its like soon as we learn something easy, these people come up with something to make our easy life more miserable.

First we are taught the Alphabets. A…B…D…C…E…G… something like that (no we are not getting into “do i know my alphabets” issue right now).

So every alphabet has a sound and everything has a name. We use alphabets to construct names for everything.
see-ae-tee CAT.
dee-ow-gee DOG.
el-ae-em-pee LAMP

Hmmm. Okay that’s totally right, rational and understandable. We are happy with spelling el-ae-em-pee LAMP.

But NOOOOOOOO. That’s when these people decide to put some spice into our smooth happy world of spelling. They are like why should everything spell out so correctly. Let’s have some twists and turns to this.

Twist Number 1 :
The Sounds Of Alphabets Will Change Where Ever We Say. You Have No Rights To Question Us.

After having learned what each sound of the alphabet is, now they say one alphabet can change its sound in some words. WTH is that now.



Why can’t a school be simply spelled as a SKOOL because isn’t the sound of “ch” the same as in CHANGE. And if it is school, then shouldn’t we pronounce it as sCHool ( the same ch sound as in change)?

Sugar has to be spelled as SHUGAR. NO? Otherwise isn’t it the same as SOOGAR ( the same “s” sound in soap). Where the hell did the SH sound come from in sugar?

CAMEL should be pronounced as SAMEL or it should be written as KAMEL.

Design? I thought the sound of “S” was the same as in SOAP. But here it is pronounced as Z. As in DEZINE.

Twist Number 2 :
Add Extra Alphabets Even If They Are Not Needed. Because WE SAID SO.

Lets invite more and more alphabets into the words and trick them into thinking that they were needed. But you know what, “THEY REALLY WERE NEVER INVITED.”

DESIGN….. Why is there a G in design. Couldn’t we easily spell it as DEZINE?
KNOCK……. What is that K and C doing there. I would have been happy with nok.
NEIGHBOR….. Seriously? Its naybor.
COLUMN….. What a waste of N.
COLOGNE….. You have been tricked again mr. “G”. You were really never needed. BOOOOOOOOOOOO

Twist Number 3 :
Look honey… We Got TWINS

Life is boring. Lets bring in alphabets that sound the same.

F and PH are the same sound as in Force and Philip.
R and RH are the same sound as in Ring and Rhyme.
G and GH are the same sound as in Gun and Ghost.

Twist Number 4 :
We Are All Equal In The Eyes Of God. No Matter How Different We Look. We Are The Same (Pronunciation).

No matter how different you spell it, some words will sound the same. But remember they will mean different. Pretty simple eh?

Come And Cum
Know And No
Aloud And Allowed
Ate And Eight
Bread And Bred
Sale And Sail

How funny it would be if I said ” I ate a BRED in the morning MAID by me. I found that I was having a bad HARE day due to the last KNIGHT . Anyway I went to get my MALE but apparently there was NUN.

Twist Number 5 :
No One Is The Same. Everyone Is Different No Matter How Similar They Look

I knew that was coming. Remember I told you, how they teach us one thing and then a contradicting thing to it. It strikes back again.

Lead as in lead the way or lead of pencil.
Close as in close the door or come close.
Bat as in a toy or an animal/bird whatever it is :S :S :S
Match as in a football match or a perfect match of color.
Tear as in tear that page or a tear in the eye.




And I always thought Maths was difficult but now that I see, English is more difficult because unlike maths, Rules of English are very contradicted.

Its not just 2+2 is 4.
It is

2+ 2 = 4 only if you are counting apples.
If you are counting ice creams then 2 +2 = 0 because I ate all the ice cream.
In case you are counting papaya then 2 + 2 = – 4 because I hate papaya.
If by any change you are counting pop corns then 2 + 2 = 20 because they multiply in size.
Categories: Weird Random Thoughts | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

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6 thoughts on “English Is A Funny Irrational Crazy Language…

  1. Nice post!

  2. uzma

    completely completely… 110% agreed….english is really funny…above u have just discuss some of the things..if v came to its grammar its even more crazy…:S

  3. Girl in Veil

    ash and uzmi remember we use to discuss the craziness of ENGLAISH all the time and now ash wrote it oh my lil-lady ur r expressing our thoughts into words and beautifully done:-)

  4. uzma


  5. riki rex

    A language is like a specialized work shop with all the specialized tools in it, callipers shouldn’t be used to tap on titanium screws.Here the difficulty in clearly detecting the difference between words as important like intelligence, smartness, cleverness, brightness, etc. etc.
    It seems to me that people today has less trouble in perceiving and-or sensing then understanding trough elaborated verbal description, because of the abundance of words that would need greater knowledge for their use. For example I couldn’t find any clarifying info on the difference if any on the two words “perceiving”and “sensing”. As always we are creating our own nightmares.
    I speak a few, and problems exist, but because English has become “the” language may be because of its tolerance in been abused carved and raped by every one it seems to be the more imperfect, and maybe so ,but a degradation of the fragile frame that keeps the all thing working is happening in all languages, because of fashion altering it at growing speed with new generations and professional way of use meant to confuse or mislead, like in politics, business, and law practices.
    And yes I have to admit that even today after many years I still find it hard to learn proper English.

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