Are you surrounded by your so called friends, peers and foes who leave no chances to insult and embarrass you anytime and every time? Do you feel like burning or stabbing them down? Aaah I know that feeling.
So today let me show you how you can actually burn them down.
First, keep a lighter with you. Second, soon as they make a nasty comment, take your lighter out and BURN THE B**** down. Oh no no I meant bunny. Ppppft what did you think? 😛
Anyway, Just kidding, Although I do like this method more. Its quick, easy and the results are 100 % guaranteed. But you can end up in jail and you have to share a cell so its not a good idea.
Here is how you can burn people who try to mock or make nasty comments to you.
1. Is that the same dress from the last season party?
Ans. Yeah. Pretty sad eh? But I love those shoes you are wearing. My grand ma had one in her early 20’s. So adorable ain’t they?
(Look convincing that you actually love her shoes).
2. You look so fat girl. You need to shed some weight.
Ans. (Look really sad) My boyfriend is so bad. He takes me to new food places every time and enjoys looking at me while I have a heavy appetite. Your lucky you know. Your boyfriend is so picky about your figure and makes you watch it inch by inch.
3. You look so weak and dull. Is everything okay hun?
Ans. The guy you have a crush on since past 6 months, proposed me last night. I was awake all night trying to tell him that he is just not my type you know.
(Enjoy the look on her face but make sure you look sympathetic)
4. Do you normally don’t talk that much?
Ans. Ummm No. Not really. I just like to talk to people with some standards.
(Look absolutely arrogant)
5. You chew too fast.
Ans. You chew too slow. What do you do in your mouth? Separate the peas from the rice and the bread from the butter first and then chew them?
(Look confused as if you are imagining the process)
6. Omg, you laugh so loudly and you are a girl.
Ans. *LAUGH YOUR LUNGS OUT* and then say “oops I meant LAWL (LOL).”
( I get this one a lot. What is just wrong with people :S.)
7. Your hair look so messed up today.
Ans. No I did that on purpose. Just wanted to know the feeling so I could understand you more.
(Look down to earth)
8. I am sorry I am talking a lot today.
Ans. That’s really okay. I am a multi-tasking person. I can look like I am listening to a person while at the same time I can think about all the other important stuff in my life. Please carry on talking as I still have to think about the gigantic theory of ridicule sociopath.
9. You know what? You are really a very rude person. You think you are very smart while inside you are the dumbest person I have ever met. You should just be left alone coz you are not a social person………. *after 10 mins of rude comments*
Ans. *Yawn* Oh did you say something?
10. You are such a liar.
Ans. Busted. Now you know why I always tell you that you are beautiful.
Ans2. Oh so that explains why I always compliment you.
Ans3. Now that the truth is out, you know where all the previous compliments for you came from.
11. How’s your day going?
Ans. Was perfect until now.
12. You did not come to my party last night. We need to talk.
Ans. I didn’t have my cup of coffee today. Are you sure you want to talk?
13. I went to this party yesterday and everyone said that I could be a fashion model.
Ans. Don’t worry darling. Some people just love to lie without thinking how much it can hurt others. I understand.
14. You don’t even seem to hear me sometimes when I speak.
Ans. Did you say something?
*Smile with an angel ring on your head*
15. I think…..
Ans. Haha. Nice one. For a minute, You really got me.
BURN EM ALL DOWN…