Having been an optimist for most of my past, guiding people to the same and pulling them out from their dark hole, I was somehow being dragged into pessimism, into the dark hole.
Of course I am just a human, my wills are weak and my strengths flicker with the tides of bad time. When the strongest tide of bad time hit me, I was pulled out from my grounds of optimism like a young sapling from the soil is gushed away in the rain.
I have been trying hard enough to keep myself intact, I was slowly breaking out, falling weak and trembling. A little push, a small tear and the slightest of weakness would through me into the arms of the devil .
I will proudly say that the only reason I am intact is because I had faith in God. Had??? Yeah I had faith in God. Only it has grown stronger now.
I prayed today with a clean heart, read a few verses from THE BOOK and after I had done so, I felt like some power had got inside my mind and my soul.
The world has failed me but My faith can never fail me.
There is probably still pain because your memory keeps replaying it over and again and your wounds keep fresh but my fight is only with myself and the question is “How Much Do I Trust My God.”
I know that God’s ways are mysterious but I also know that his ways aren’t invisible. For those who have faith in him can see his ways, not from the beginning but gradually they see it. I have seen them. I have seen how beautifully he works his ways. Just right now, I am not able to coz may be this isn’t the right time.
We all do question his ways at some moment of our life and that is when we forget that he is way more smart than we are, way more powerful than we are and way more PLANNER than we are.
Then how can our plans be better than the ones he has made and who really are we to question his plans and ways when we are just his creations. Where our minds stop thinking and planning, that’s where his plans start.
At this moment, when everything is dark around me and here I am sitting all alone in this room looking at the closed doors, I know that God is planning something for me which is absolutely perfect and he is waiting for the right time to open that door and say,
And of course, if it is a surprise gift from my God then boy oh boy, this wait is so gonna be worth it 🙂
Thank You Allah for clearing my mind and heart from all the dark shadows that had hovered over me. Now there is enough light in my Mind and in my Heart to survive the darkness around me.