Have you ever wondered how often, almost everyday, people ask us, “How Are You?”. And how often do we have to control ourselves, our inner battles, our conflicts, our problems, our stress and our desperate need of help when this question is asked.
Sometimes it feels as if people are purposely asking this question to scratch our wounds, to remind us of what we are going through, to give us a flash back of what has happened.
Its strange how this simple, unoffensive and general question could actually become so complicated, offensive and painful at some stage of time.
When people ask me, “How Are You?”, A sudden state of trance captivates me. I feel lost in the mist of everything that is going in my mind and this simple yet complicated question opens the doors to so many stories, so many painful remorse and so many tears that I have carefully hidden inside of me.
When people ask me, “How Are You?”, I want to scream loudly with tears in my eyes saying, “I AM NOT FINE.”
When people ask me, “How Are You?”, I want to let them know what I have been going through, I want to tell them I cry every night, I want to tell them I have been feeling so lonely, I want to tell them I have so much to say but no one to hear me, I want to tell them I talk to my shadows, I want to tell them I have a wound on my heart that wont heal, I want to tell them I have lost so much, I want to tell them I have faced so much that now I turned into stone, I want to tell them I need help.
When people ask me, “How Are You?”, I want to tell them, “OF EVERYTHING THAT I COULD BE, I AM DEFINITELY NOT FINE.”
When people ask me, “How Are You?’, Everything becomes like a STORMY OCEAN whose waves come and go frantically destroying everything on its way.
When people ask me, “How Are You?”, I take a moment of pause, push back my tears, hold back my pains, wrap up my wounds, force a smile on my face and then carefully form an answer that I would reply back with.
“I AM FINE…”
Its strange how everything becomes like a CALM OCEAN whose waves silently go about their way. Unasked. Undisturbed. Untouched.