In My Cocoon….


hmmm so lately i am going a little off the hook and have made an invisible cacoon around me…. a cacoon that is so beautiful in its own way and yet is so dangerous…..

to begin with, i am engrossed with reading these days…. and when i start with a novel, the cacoon grows stronger…. All i want is to read and when i read i forget the world around me….. i forget the people around me….

reading is a good habit offcourse…. but it becomes an obsession…. as i said i form a cacoon around me…. so even though i am sitting with my family around me, i barely hear what they r talking…. its as if i am all alone…. no one looking at me… no one to answer….until i get a thud on my hand and scream from someone saying ” KABSE TUMHE AWAAZ DE RAHAY HAIN…..BEHRI HO GAI HO????”

and even if they acheive in getting my attention, i make sure my answers are a quick YES or No…. jaldi jaldi sawalo k jawaab diye and back to reading…. it irritates me when anyone asks me to get them water or find them sumthing…..

which usually happens…. someone wants me to get them water…. someones wants me to find thier wallet…. someone wants me to tie thier hair…. someone wont find thier keys, until i get up and hand it over n say ” saamne rakhi hui thi yaar…. ”

as much as i want to stay in my cacoon, reading and building my own world, the more wind blows to hit hard over my cacoon….

khair that being a very light issue…… as i said my cacoon is beautiful and yet so dangerous…. because ryt now in my cacoon, i am free to do anything i want and in a strange way i am free from my fears…. this is the part my cacoon turns dangerous….

these days i am going a little far in extent to my careless attitude….i remem mentioning in my previous blogs sumwhere about how careless i am…. ( lyk getting my hand cut in the same place , with the same door lock and in the exact same way… that was fun btw lol )

so the extent to my careless has grown kinda alot…. merely because of the reason so vibrating and so strong and yet so destructive….i hav come out of my fears….i think people care about themselves because of fear… fear of getting hurt…. once u come out of this fear, the world becomes an adventure land…. so my cacoon has become my adventure world….

em trying out all new things that i wouldnt have just due to the fear of outcome….. i am thinking out of box…. em doing things i love….

i am staying awake all night reading books and building my second world until my eyes give up….. until my mind is full….. until my thots are satisfied…..

yet i do not know how long this cacoon will hold me….. its going to break soon…. sooner than i think may be….

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Categories: Bits Of My Life, Dark Feelings | Tags: , , | Leave a comment

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